but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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