i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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