Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
