Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
