You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
