Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
