You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
