I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
