Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
