she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
