yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
where does the pee come out of this thing
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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