Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
