Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Randomize
