Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
