Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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