i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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