bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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