I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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