i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
