My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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