Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
