it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
