I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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