No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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