Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drake has all the answers
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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