my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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