wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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