? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
