I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
