god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
