People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
