He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
