He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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