i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
