Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
