when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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