Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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