she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
