just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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