Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize