Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
