You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
