im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
