I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
