She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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