I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We are two peas in an std pod
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
