Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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