YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
