there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
