Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
