we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
