then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
