this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
