I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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